Halloween "Treats"

It's October! You know what that means?!? Halloween is right around the corner! Kids in costumes (and sometimes adults) running around, knocking on peoples doors trick-or-treating.

What's the best part about Halloween? THE CANDY!!! I mean I've seen some pretty cool costumes but let's face it, if candy wasn't involved then no one would dress up like that just for shits n giggles. Kiddies want Twizzlers and Milky Ways and Smarties and Reeses. But sometimes you aren't so lucky and you get icky candy that only your parents and grandparents like.

Soo...

Note to elderly people: Bit-O-Honeys suck! Those stupid little peanut butter-ish candies that are in the orange or black wrappers and kind of taste like Bit-O-Honeys SUCK! Pay Days suck (the candy that is)! Adults like em', but kids HATE nuts! Black licorice sucks! Butterscotch and cinnamon hard candies suck! AND, I'm sorry if this offends you, but candy corn SUCKS!

Here's another thing. "Treats" that aren't candy suck. We don't want stickers or pencils. We want candy! Which reminds me...

Dear dentist that used to live in the neighborhood that I went trick-or-treating in when I was a kid,

I know that the only reason you gave out pencils is because candy rots your teeth. But come on buddy! Think of it this way. You are a dentist. It is Halloween. People give out candy for Halloween. Candy gives kids cavities. When kids get cavities, they have to go to the dentist and get fillings. That costs money. More kids with cavities equals more money that parents have to pay the dentist. Candy = Cavities = MORE MONEY FOR YOU! What were you thinking giving out pencils?!?

Soo...When shopping for candy to give to your trick-or-treaters, take my suggestions from this blog into consideration. If you don't, then your house and your car may get egged. Just sayin'.

P.S. - This blog totally reminds me of It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown.

Word of the Day: horseradish